You know how sometimes you go through old photos and reminisce of a time when you weren’t suffering repeated headbutt trauma to your manhood from over excited kids? A time when you had more hair on your head than your face and your underpants were probably those really uncomfortable cheap y-fronts your mother would buy you from Woolworths. Probably purple with a yellow trim.
Well this magnificent specimen came up on my memories today and I had to share the awesomeness with you all.
Just look at this fabulous example of teenage sexual magnetism, and bask in the glow of perfection for a minute or two..
1. A mullet so finely sculpted, it would have made Pat Sharpe toe-punt the twins down the inflatable Funhouse slide with envy.
2. Sweat stains finely tuned to exude nothing but the finest pheromones for attracting members of, let’s face it, any sexual preference.
3. A Bart Simpson t-shirt which in early 90’s Thurso meant I was as cool as The goddamned Batman, and;
4. Hands so big that if I ever stood like this on the harbour wall facing the cruel winds of the Pentland Firth, I’d have took off like an unfurled kite before you had the chance to appreciate my Stonewashed denim’s with high turn-ups.