I saw a picture going around some of the mummy bloggers that detailed some top tips for mums during the summer. Well, let it never be said that I’m not one for jumping on the bandwagon!
A FEW RULES FOR DADS DURING THE SUMMER VACATION. .
1: Whisky can be easily hidden in your water bottle, and you can claim that you’re just sipping iced tea while you lay on the deckchair in your back garden. Plus, because you’re laying down you don’t have to explain why your legs stopped working half an hour ago! Top tip – Don’t let the water bottle escape your death grip. A few sips of Daddy’s ‘Happy Sauce’ and the next thing you know little Johnny is throwing up spaghetti hoops into your wife’s planting boxes.
2: Don’t build the new summer climbing frame too near the fence with next doors garden, unless you don’t mind explaining why your neighbour just had their sunbathing ruined by an airborne tub of strawberry Petit Filous landing on their chest, thrown by a toddler trying to get their attention so they can tell them about how they lost a shoe.
3: Gardening in the sunshine might suck, but remember; Peppa doesn’t broadcast her bullshit in amongst your Geraniums. Unless of course, some bastard gives your kid a tablet and a strong WiFi connection.
4: Want to watch the World Cup without having a plastic digger repeatedly smashed into your temple? Bubble wrap! Not only good for entertaining toddlers for hours while they pop all the bubbles, but once they get bored of that you can use upwards of 300 metres of the stuff with a bit of duct tape to wrap the little blighters up and stuff them in a cupboard until the penalty shootout is over!
Have a great summer!