Gangrene

So The Roobs got some new nail polish, and naturally I was the guinea pig to see how it looked when ‘on’..

Here’s the problem. I’m a man, I don’t know how you’re supposed to remove this nonsense. I’ve had multiple showers, and used many a shower gel to tackle the bastard, but to no avail. And that horrible bugger who I share a home with won’t give me the nail polish remover.

So twice now I’ve answered the door to the postman in my bare feet, and twice his eyes have dropped to my toe. Also a neighbour who came knocking with a delivery, who straight away stood openly glaring at my hairy toed, Hobbit looking foot.

They’re either thinking, “check out this kinky bugger, I bet he’s away to put on suspenders and a bra, then dance around his house to ABBA songs”.

Or they’re thinking, “That poor fat bastard across the road must have the diabeetus, and is away to lose his toe to the gangrene”.

Either way, I’m expecting sympathy cards.

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