Charlie Pillock

The Roobs has been fulfilling her bridesmaid duties and is on flower arranging detail for the ‘Wedding of the Year’ tomorrow. So I’ve been on ‘Destroyer Wrangling’ duties, which pretty much involve stopping him headbutting his way through the floral displays and shot-putting the wedding wine over the wall into next doors prized chrysanthemums.

While he was eating I sat down for like, TWO bloody minutes.. Suddenly I heard the sound of galloping size six hoofs charging toward me, and The Roobs was on me like a lioness bringing down a fat gazelle. Her hands were a blur while she made reassuring ‘shoosh’ noises, and the next thing I know I look like I’ve fallen through the hedge at the Beechgrove Gardens.. According to TV gardening personality ‘Charlie Pillock’ here, I’m now ‘Pinterest Worthy’. Which I’m hoping translates as me getting some naked hugs in the near future.

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